Waiting….and waiting….and waiting.

Seven and a half years. one degree.

A lot of people go to school for seven years. Yeah, they’re called doctors. 

I spent more time than usual waiting to start my life after college. I changed degrees, changed schools, even changed states, but finally it was finished. I could not have been more proud, and neither could my family as I became the first Liggitt to graduate from college and now that it’s all finished my “life” can begin.

Yet, that’s not what happened.

That was my plan. I am all for plans, but I’m getting to a point where I almost want to quit making them too much because God usually has another plan in mind for me. 

It’s been over a month now and it has not gone as I have planned. I’m living with my mother and working at a restaurant. I sit at home all day applying to churches online and so far have been brought in for interviews twice and told no twice. 

No matter how much I believe and know he works all things together for his good and his purpose….it still hurts. I should be out changing the world and being apart of a church that is growing and making a difference, but no.

I watched The Bachelor tonight. A Full episode. This is my life.

I feel like a loser. I feel as though I can’t provide for my fiance and soon to be wife. I am discipling no one. I am depressed. I am not making any waves. 

I’m sitting in a sailboat for a child waiting for wind going nowhere while my father yells at me from a distance. I’m not listening and not making any ripples in the water.

There’s a problem though.

It’s my fault.

See sometimes I believe we sit in boats waiting for God to bring the wind that takes us in the direction he wants us to go, when in fact there’s an oar in the boat the entire time and he wants us to stand up and paddle ourselves. 

There is a lot of scripture that talks about waiting, and it is not a bad thing. Psalm 130:5-6 says, “I wait for the LORD, my soul does wait, And in His word do I hope. 6 My soul waits for the Lord More than the watchmen for the morning; Indeed, more than the watchmen for the morning.”

We need to wait upon his plan and where he wants us, but that doesn’t mean we sit in the boat waiting feeling sorry for ourselves when we have a perfectly good oar at our side and a heart and mind that is transformed by Christ. So many of us sit and wait for the kingdom to come when Christ returns, but the beauty of Gospel is that the kingdom is NOW!

We have an opportunity every day to spread the love and gospel of Christ. Jesus last words for us started with one word.

Go!

Why are we waiting for him to do all the work when the most beautiful thing we can do is work by him, with him and be apart of the story. 

So today I challenge you as I challenge myself to get up and be apart of God’s story and work. Be the hands and feet of Christ and love every single person you come in contact with. Show the world the change he has made in your life and speak the truth that is the Gospel of Jesus Christ.

Pick up the oar and paddle. 

1 Timothy 4:10 
That is why we labor and strive, because we have put our hope in the living God, who is the Savior of all people, and especially of those who believe.

1 Corinthians 15:58 
Therefore, my dear brothers and sisters, stand firm. Let nothing move you. Always give yourselves fully to the work of the Lord, because you know that your labor in the Lord is not in vain.

Worthless, horrible, weak you.

For it is impossible in the case of those who have once been enlightened, who have tasted the heavenly gift, and have shared in the Holy Spirit, and have tasted the goodness of the word of God and the powers of the age to come, and then have fallen away, to restore them again to repentance, since they are crucifying once again the Son of God to their own harm and holding him up to contempt.

Hebrews 6:4-6

I started my day out hoping to read something edifying and uplifting.

Edifying? Yes.

Uplifting? Um…No?

How deep do these words truly hit?

I know for myself, very deep, but not for the only obvious reason. This scripture contains the ability to immediately make one question their lives on a daily scale. You question immediately the definition of “fallen away” and it worries one immediately, because the definition can be so different to every single person.

“Yeah, you know it was a rough period, I really just fell away from the Lord, but I’m back now.”

Oh, really?

Seems to be quite…….impossible, as the Word puts it here to achieve this.

“I mean not fallen away, just….uh….like rebelled.”

Rationalization.

However, it seems one may relax as this doesn’t seem to be the case. I relax, breathe slowly and realize that this scripture is very likely not speaking of my faith.

Him.

Her.

Them.

Oh, no. What about them? The ones you grew up with in youth group. They stood next to you with arms raised high. Jumping and acting undignified as David wrote and Crowder sang. They prayed for you when you rededicated your life after freshman year because you got caught up in the rush of high school and sin, but you’re never going there again.

…and sophomore year.

…and junior year.

…and, well you get the point.

They went to a bible college and committed to ministry.

This is them!

right?

We now have a question that has puzzled many theologians of history.

Can one lose their salvation?

This is hard to swallow for myself. Especially after reading a verse like this one in Hebrews. I know these people that it seems to be talking about. Best friends and family members that seem to be never again able to be connected to the Lord. Impossible he calls it. What then? Do we turn and move on. Mourn their early death or fight on for their salvation.

Did they ever have salvation in the first place?

I believe very much of what the ESV Study Bible says on the matter.

Tasting of the fruit does not mean instant digestion. Enlightened minds may have been enriched with the wrong purpose of a lesson, missing the deeper meaning. Going to a church and sharing in the community, spending 4 hours on a sunday afternoon in Class 101 and being called a member doesn’t necessarily mean true membership. It means completing steps. One can watch a movie on the screen and experience it, but are you truly apart of it.

It seems to me that so many of the people in my life that have struggled with this issue. Dealt with a “lost” salvation may have never truly had it. Yes, I know many may even argue this concept but I’m doing my best with what has been presented and I know that much more learning is ahead of me, but as of the moment I have reach a conclusion, unfinished but a conclusion.

The food may be digesting. The plot of the movie may have not registered. The membership process may not be complete.

Kim Walker puts it best.

“The love of God changes us, and you’re never the same when you encounter the love of God, and you would know because you wouldn’t be the same, you’d be changed.”

I believe god has placed those in your life who have tasted but not digested.

Heard but not seen.

Experienced but not changed.

Fight for them. This is not a game for right ideas. It’s a battle of souls.

The enemy is here to steal, kill and destroy….and he’s a punk.

…and amazing at his job.

Love uncontrollably and preach the word because you can’t help to speak anything else. You are empowered by the God most high who fought for David. That same God who did amazing things through a horrible, worthless, weak man.

Will do the same through a horrible, worthless, weak you.

Allow him. Experience him. Taste his love. Tell others and fight for you friends.

Little Sin. Little God.

This weekend we had the pleasure of hearing the message and teaching of Dr. Robert Flayhart from Oak Mountain Presbyterian Church in Birmingham, Alabama. A truly phenomenal man and speaker he taught a message of Grace many of us lack to see, and the point I took away from it most was that those who think they have a little sin require a little god.

Ouch.

How often am I rationalizing and marginalizing what I do in my life?

How often do I compare my life to those around me and pretend I’m not as bad?

As I spoke to Josh tonight about this I made the comment that in comparison to the world’s standards I’m doing great, but when I really step back and look at my life…my pride and insecurities I so desperately need Christ more than ever.

The apostle Paul was the king of this. As christians we constantly think, well the more that I pursue Christ the less I will ask for forgiveness. I will live more holy and cleaner and drink less and be a much better person. When we look at Paul’s example though, we see the complete opposite. His words are the example, the complete opposite.

I am the lowest of the apostles.

I am the lowest of God’s people.

I am the chief of all Sinners.

The farther we go in our faith, the more we should repent and go to God. It is in our realization of what Christ really did for us that we continue to fall harder on our knees. This realization is the reason it was the easiest it’s ever been tonight to open up to Josh and confess sin that I want no one to hear about. The reason I called Jake in Texas and opened up about it again, because without them I hold it in and the Devil uses it against me. I pray and encourage you to practice this often and daily if possible. To get the sin off your chest because not only does God want it, he already handled it.

I once was talking to Lance Sisco in Texas and told him about how I felt I finally realized that I was trying to beat sin on my own and the whole time Jesus was standing in front of me telling me, “Kyle, you can’t! Just give it to me! I already dealt with this sin! Please Son, I love you and you deserve better than this just please give it to me!” and I did and I felt great, but before I could really continue to speak excitement about the situation Lance looked me in the eyes and spoke the most powerful words I’ve ever heard.

“Don’t pick it back up. Don’t pick it back up.”

It’s been a year.

I picked it back up.

I failed.

He didn’t.

He still loves me.

He still wants my sin.

He still is the one who conquered it.

He still is.

I urge you, give up your sin and use those around you that he’s given to you. He made those around us to enjoy him mostly together and to encourage and carry each other in this journey.

Give it to him and don’t pick it back up.

The Gospel with a Side of Fries

This weekend I attended the second ever service at Salt & Light Community Church in Peoria, AZ.  The service was held in a restaurant; everyone sat at tables much like any other restaurant you’ve ever been to. The mission of this church is to act as a restaurant and church all in one. A bold idea when you realize that 9 out of 10 of each won’t make it through their first year of operating. It’s sure to be quite an adventure; one of my favorite parts of the church is it’s pastor, Paul Wilson.

Paul was my youth pastor all through high school and was the first person to invite me into a real focused discipleship group called the twelve. He impacted my life in ways few have and was used by God constantly to teach me very valuable life lessons; like grace when I may ,or may not have set fire to Biola in Los Angeles on accident. Paul showed mercy to us involved and though we were punished he was there with open arms and a smile to know nothing we had done had changed his view of us.

Sunday he taught me another very valuable life lesson and I know he had no idea that he had.

It wasn’t his boldness to try something new. It wasn’t a type of sermon he gave. It wasn’t even the same smile he once again greeted me with.

It was the building and what he was doing in it.

The building they are using was only a few weeks earlier known as McDuffy’s. It was a widely known Sports Bar and had a decent night life.

This is where I spent my 21st birthday. This is where I, with many others of my generation, “celebrated” my birthday by drinking too much and paying for it later. I actually said to my friend Andy as I entered, “Do you realize we are going to church in the building where I came for my 21st birthday?” In all honesty, it was very odd, but as he always does, God used a situation from my past that should have nothing to do with my faith to paint me a beautiful picture.

A house of sin, of drinking and of sinners was being made new. The outside looked the same. Same old balcony and parking lot. No new paint on the outside but inside there was amazing change happening. It would operate in much the same manner but it’s goal and focus was much different. This place which use to be full of sin would now be used to save sinners. Where wine was once used to forget bad days and hurt, wine would now be used to remember a savior that went through the worst of days, and horrible pain so that ours wouldn’t hurt as much. This temple was being cleansed from the inside out.

We are McDuffy’s.

We are horrible creatures used for sin and for our own desires. We live from day to day with nothing but our own needs in mind, and then something happens. Christ invades and we are made new. Our walls are stripped and made bare and painted new with the word of the lord.  Our outer appearance may look the same but inside life change is happening. Our gifts and utilities which were once used for sin is now used for life change. We are remodeled and people who once knew us as our old selves when they see us are forced to wonder, “What is different about he/she?”

I pray you let the greatest interior decorator remodel you as he has remodeled me. Allow yourself to be transformed for his purposes and his glory.

And we all, with unveiled face, beholding the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from one degree of glory to another. For this comes from the Lord who is the Spirit.  2 Corinthians 3:18

God bless you Salt & Light and thank you Paul for letting yourself be used by the Lord to once again impact my life.

Matthew 5:13-16

A God that goes bump in the night.

Today I partook in a rather heated argument on the issue of Medical Marijuana. A few times throughout the argument the idea of morals and values was brought into the conversation. I happened to realize through this heated exchange that the person and I would never see eye to eye, as I was one who stood against Marijuana legalization and this person was for it’s legality and further more, when the person said we should legalize it because people are going to do it anyway and we may as well make a penny of it and I threw out the bogus idea of, well then we might as well legalize prostitution because people are going to do that anyway…..and they agreed.

This blog is not about Medical Marijuana. In fact, it’s about morals and values.

I realized this person and I do not see eye to eye on morals and values and and argument like that would take much more discussion than a heated debate on a tuesday afternoon to change minds. It got me thinking all day about morals and values though.

I came home and began to read a chapter from Mere Christianity by C.S. Lewis(one of my heroes) and it was discussing human law and something inside of us. It presented a few views on the universe and this made me think of something, being we just had halloween and people talking of spirits and ghosts and all these crazy supernatural forces. I wondered why so many people I talk to who believe in Ghosts and supernatural occurrences are firm beliers also in evolution and not of God.

It simply doesn’t make sense to me. They can believe of something outside themselves that is of a supernatural origin, yet not God. They can believe in a situation where a 1 in a million chance happened to create our universe,  a 1 in a billion temperature situation on one planet to happen, a 1 in a trillion chemical situation where everything needed to exist was here, and yet they can’t believe in a 1 God.

I would conclude that one who has a belief in a supernatural forces would more heavily lean towards a belief in God, yet so many times I’m wrong. So, I decided to really think about this and my belief was only strengthened by a note at the end of the chapter by Lewis.

He write:

“..I ought to mention the the In-between view called Life-force philosophy, or creative evolution, or emergent evolution….People who hold this view say that the small variations by which life on this planet ‘evolved’ from the lowest forms to Man were not due to chances but to the ‘striving’ or ‘purposiveness’ of a Life-Force. When people say this we must ask them whether by Life-Force they mean something with a mind or not. If they do, then ‘a mind bringing life into existence and leading it to perfection’ is really a God, and their view is thus identical with the religious. If they do not, then what is the sense in saying that something without a mind ‘strives’ or has ‘purposes’? One of the many reasons people find creative evolution so attractive is that it gives one much of the emotional comfort of believing in God and none of the less pleasant consequences. When you are feeling fit and the sun is shining….it is great to think of this great mysterious force rolling on through the centuries and carrying you on its crest. If, on the other hand, you want to do something rather shabby, the Life-Force, being only a blind force, with no morals and no mind, will never interfere with you like that troublesome God we learned about when we were children….you can switch it on when you want, but it will not bother you. All the thrills of religion and none of the cost. Is this Life-Force the greatest achievement of wishful thinking the world has yet to seen?”

Sorry for the long excerpt but I feel Lewis puts it perfectly. People are all about morals and values and something supernatural until it interferes with their own plans, wants and desires. People cling to this feeling of something supernatural that we all have inside of us. They deeply want something so much more and reach out for it to comfort them, all until they are faced with the consequences of that, or as Bonhoeffer titled one of his most well-known books, The Cost of Discipleship.

We so easily cling to what comforts us until it is uncomfortable for us. Jesus didn’t ask us to live a comfortable life, he asked us to life for him no matter the consequence. Whether death and dismemberment or poverty and struggle.

“Indeed, I count everything as loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. For his sake I have suffered the loss of all things and count them as rubbish, in order that I may gain Christ.”                                                                                                                                                    Phillipians 3:8

The Duct Tape gospel.

Tonight at our men’s group our leader Andy took a long strip of duct tape and ran it from one end of the room to the other. He colored in about two inches on one end with a sharpie. Andy then explained how that little part was our lives and the rest of the duct tape was eternity. The question then came, “What are you living for?”

In no way is this a new concept, Paul called our lives a mist.

I always hear people concerned waiting for the rapture, and those who are non-believers arguing well if he was going to come back why isn’t he here?

If our lives are a mist, then two thousand years is a short, brisk shower.

Off point, but what are you worried about? Are you trying to fulfill pleasure within the small blue part on the end of the duct tape or are you remembering the rest of the duct tape you will will not be around for is what matters until the end and the new Jerusalem?

We are here for him. No other reason.

 

Pink Underwear and Green Bologna.

For those of us that live in the great state of Arizona, we all recognize that pink underwear and green bologna relates to Sheriff Joe Arpaio and his famous Tent City jail. Sheriff Joe, when elected, was tired of the comforts of jail that all the inmates were currently receiving, so he put in progress new sanctions and restrictions. Some being no television and pornographic material inside the jail, and others being pink underwear for all inmates and green bologna sandwiches.

Joe does this because he believes as a criminal you are not worthy of any such glory, amenities or comforts. You are not in jail because of your good qualities, you are there because you did wrong and for that you must pay. Do your time and be punished.

Until recently, I’ve been stuck in the lie that I am wearing pink underwear and only deserve green bologna. I was sitting in jail, terrified listening to the guard tell me I’m worthless, I deserve to be where I am and there is nothing I can do about it because I am doomed to die.

The pink underwear and green bologna are sin.

The Guard is the devil.

He is telling me I’m worthless. That I can’t take off those pink underwear or eat anything else besides green bologna because it’s all I’m worth. I deserve nothing more and will die in jail for what I’ve done. My sentence is death and there is nothing I can do about it.

He’s right. My sentence is death and that sentence has scared me for a long time. Way to long. I believed that there was no running from my sentence, and that I can do nothing to stop the pain and eternal blackness of death, and frankly I was right.

Then comes along my “parole officer.” Not only has he told me I am good enough, but he took the punishment for me. In fact, I’m serving a term that has already been served and placing punishment on myself that has already been taken.

A close friend of mine once said that we are sitting in a jail cell. There is no door. It has been removed from the hinges and we can leave at any time we want because there is nothing holding us back. Yet there is someone standing right outside the door cussing at us with insults and telling us we’re not good enough, when all we have to do is stand in faith and walk right through those doors.

I was sitting in a cell, believing I could not run from my eternal punishment of death and I read the story of Peter in jail. God sending his angel to open his doors and lead him to freedom. It was then I remembered my friends words, and it was then I realized I was the man sitting in an open jail cell with no sentence and able to stand up and leave whenever I wanted.

I’ve stood. I’ve left.

Read these beautiful words.

If you confess with your mouth, “Jesus is Lord,” and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. For it is with your heart that you believe and are justified, and it is with your mouth that you confess and are saved . Romans 10:9-10

Since the children have flesh and blood, he too shared in their humanity so that by his death he might destroy him who holds the power of death—that is, the devil—and free those who all their lives were held in slavery by their fear of death            Hebrews 2:14-15

For to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain. If I am to go on living in the body, this will mean fruitful labor for me. Yet what shall I choose? I do not know! I am torn between the two: I desire to depart and be with Christ, which is better by far; but it is more necessary for you that I remain in the body. Convinced of this, I know that I will remain, and I will continue with all of you for your progress and joy in the faith                           Philippians 1:21-25

I encourage you in reading these to ask what jail are you in, and what are you being lied to about to keep you in there?

Stand up. Walk out. Live.

The Buried Life.

I’m watching the Buried Life, by far my favorite show on TV.

I love the guys’ determination to live life to their purpose.

Theirs being to live life and achieve all they want to do before they die, and they do it without giving up and in the craziest ways you’ve ever seen.

What if we lived this way as christians?

What is your purpose? What do you want to do before you die? Who do you want to glorify? Who are you going to tell about Jesus? What risk are you willing to take to tell people about him?

Are we living a buried life?

It’s going to happen.

I picked up On Guard by William Lane Craig, a popular professor and strong proponent of christian apologetics. His book is all about defending your faith. The beginning of his book is describing what apologetics is(apologia is the greek word for defense, so apologetics means the defense of ones faith) and then it goes on to his first argument. This argument simply having to do with why it is important that God exists.

This is where I got sick. That’s right, Sick. Dry heaving, nervous, shaking even…..Dr. Craig began to drill in the point that we are going to die. I freaked out, like I had never heard this before. As a child this was my biggest fear. I hated thinking of my eyes closing and then just blackness. Even on my way to ministry I am horrified of this sometimes. I have in ways gotten over it, believing in Christ as who he says he is and knowing that I am saved and eternal life with him awaits, but as the thought came up there always was that little…..”What if?” I’d usually shrug it off and then go about my day.

This, however, was drilled into me like I had never read before. He was almost mean in a way. I pictured a man standing over a terrified child yelling, “Get over it you Brat! Quit your whining! You’re going to Die! Deal with it!”

There I was, a child who for years had been cowering behind the sofa, holding my teddy not wanting to grow up and accept my mortality of life on earth.

Yet, as he yelled, he dropped to his knee and asked, “Do you get it now?”

My little head nods.

He then stands me up, dusts me off and begins to explain why I shouldn’t fret. (Yes, I successfully used the word fret for the first time in life) He lays out his argument to what the difference is between God existing and him not existing, and more importantly, the importance based on which is true.

I have never been more calm about the subject then I am now.

His best piece of advice. Look, if God doesn’t exist and this is all we have, then why even care if we die? I mean, if we stay alive forever and in the end there still is no purpose then why would you want to stay alive anyway?

It clicked. The talks I’ve had with my father all throughout the years finally mattered. My dad used to say, if this is it, who cares you won’t even know that you’re dead, you’ll be dead. Sounds silly to me then, but he was right.

Life has a meaning. Life has purpose.

So if an atheist would argue that if life is meaningless, there is no value and there is no purpose then atheism is true, then if life does have purpose as so many recognize, there is value, and we do find meaning then atheism is untrue.

If atheism is untrue, god exists.

I know this might sound like boring, typical ranting, but to me this is a revelation. The meaning I see, isn’t just meaning, it’s substance and evidence.

Knowing there is a God doesn’t provide us with just a father or a boss who enforces rules. It shows us a beautfiul creator and provides true deep meaning to our lives. Reading this made me feel that much more ready to go and tell people about Christ. To live with faith daily, not because I’m told, but because my life is not pointless but is full of purpose and meaning.

Pick up this book. It’s a hard read but is of amazing content.

On Guard by William Lane Craig

Merman…MERMAN!

What does it mean to be a man?

Fast Car. Hot Girls. Big Bank Account. Athletically Fit.

The definition of a man.

Right?

Sandals. No Wife. Homeless. No beauty or majesty to attract us to him.

Everything that our society defines as being a man is completely opposite of who we are supposed to model our lives after.

Jesus left home and wandered. He had nothing to his name. No money and went from city to city, from home to home, depending on the love and welfare of others. As for his appearance, the prophet Isaiah says nothing about him physically would have drawn us to him. In other words, Jesus had no chance at ever being cast on Jersey Shore.

And yeah, I say that to be funny but in all honesty that’s what we see, that’s what media tells us it is to be a man. I full believe MTV has cast that show as an example of how ridiculous that “Guido” stereotype is, and I’m not trying to bash those individual people because i’m sure they are nice people in their own way. What I find most sad is in an effort to make fun of a group of people, MTV has put an example for kids to look at of what it is to be a man, and for girls what it is to be a woman. To have money, be lazy at work, be selfish and go out every night and party and hook up.

I saw an episode where a guy argued that he didn’t do anything wrong and the girl he was dating shouldn’t be mad. That he got a number, danced closely and provocatively with and made out with two girls at once.

Am I a saint? No.

My concern is what people see as okay behavior and especially the younger generation. That if this happens, we need to brush it off like it’s no big deal and just move on and get over it.

We sit back and are appalled by this, and write blogs and complain and we solve……..nothing.

We need to get off our complaining butts and do something about it. How do we expect people to have a correct view of what it is to be a man and woman when we do nothing to provide them with a healthy view? Get up and fix it.

In the words of Shawn Welch, “Go find a Timothy.”

Find someone younger. One person or a group and mentor them. Show them Christ and the gospel and what he says of what it is to be a man.

As iron sharpens iron, so one man strengthens another.